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(+2)

(1/2)

Full and detailed review of the VN!

+ walkthrough, summary and analysis

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE





Disclaimer: 
The information provided on this review is for general informational purposes only. All information on the review is provided in good faith, however I make no representation or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, reliability, availability or completeness of any information on the review.





Review

VN review and score (score affects the amount of stars you get in the rating).
purpose: provide constructive criticism to help the developer improve.
   Score Chart
   ===========

   [150-125] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [125-100] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [100-75]  : ⭐⭐⭐   
   [75-50]   : ⭐⭐   
   [50-0]    : ⭐   

VN Score: 135/150

Applies to UNSPECIFIED VERSION [2024/01/12].

Score Breakdown:

  • 『Visuals』 - 15/20

    Images, videos, backgrounds, characters, drawings, animations, etc.
    • Good:
      • High Resolution.
      • Good art style.
      • Original character sprites.
      • Sprites with multiple expressions and poses (animated!).
      • Animations and transitions through all the VN.
      • Visual effects.
      • Frequent visual changes through all the VN.
      • Visuals complements the narrative.
    • Neutral:
      • Backgrounds are real life photographies, characters are drawn (looks good!).
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • N/A
      • Major (-5pts)
        • Copyright Issues: Third party assets not credited.
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『GUI』 - 20/20

    Graphic user interface of the VN.
    • Good:
      • Custom dialogue box.
      • Dynamic text, rich in fonts and effects.
      • Text is legible 100% of the time.
    • Neutral:
      • Renpy default skin with minor modifications.
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • N/A
      • Major (-5pts)
        • N/A
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Sound』 - 15/20

    Music and sound effects; quality and sound design.
    • Good:
      • HQ Sound.
      • Music complements the narrative.
      • Sound effects complements the narrative.
      • Dialogue audio, custom “voices” for every character.
    • Neutral:
      • N/A
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • N/A
      • Major (-5pts)
        • Copyright Issues: Third party assets not credited.
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Writing』 - 20/20

    Spelling correctness (grammar and syntax). Also, vocabulary and quality of the dialogue/prose/verse/etc.
    • Good:
      • No spelling mistakes found.
      • Average vocabulary.
      • Dialogues are consistent with the characters.
    • Neutral:
      • N/A
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • N/A
      • Major (-5pts)
        • N/A
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Story』 - 17.5/20

    Originality, ideas, characters, worldbuilding, narrative flow and consistency in VN.
    • Good:
      • A meaning can be inferred, not just a sequence of events.
      • Hard and rich Worldbuilding, story occurs in a whole new universe.
      • Depth and diverse characters, with a lot of personality and backstory.
      • Good narrative flow management, keeps the reader interested.
      • Story is consistent (plot holes expected to be covered in future updates).
    • Neutral:
      • Based on other (religious) stories, and yet, is unpredictable and interesting.
      • Customs and traditions are from real life (combination of multiple religions).
      • Another work is needed to understand the VN.
      • Nonlinear narrative technique.
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • User inconvenience: The beginning and the continuation of the VN occurs in another medium. Use of multiple mediums unjustified.
      • Major (-5pts)
        • N/A
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Gameplay』 - 20/20

    About interactivity, e.g: kinetic, with choices, or higher.
    • Good:
      • Three fully functional mini-games: Fishing, Boxing, and Hamburger Making.
      • VN with choices.
      • Branched narrative, 8 different endings.
      • Achievements and Gallery!
    • Neutral:
      • ADV mode only.
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • N/A
      • Major (-5pts)
        • N/A
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Programming』 - 12.5/20

    Bugs, Crashes, Builds, Packaging, etc.
    • Good:
      • Uploaded builds for most operative systems supported by Renpy.
    • Neutral:
      • Assets where not compressed in a RPA file.
      • RPY files shipped in the final release (plain text source code).
      • Filename follows the Renpy standard.
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • An ignorable exception occurred midplay. (traceback here)
        • No builds for mobile platforms (iOS/Android).
        • No versioning.
      • Major (-5pts)
        • N/A
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Promotion』 - 5/20

    About the thumbnail, title, game page, metadata, tags, description, screenshots, etc.
    • Good:
      • Title: Complements the art style of the game, it might even hide a secret in the story.
    • Neutral:
      • Game Page: Generic. Can be improved with HTML code.
      • Tags: Lot’s of tags missing. Should add Furry, LGBT, Post-Apocalyptic, Fantasy, Magic, Robots, religion, renpy, and vn.
    • Bad:
      • Minor (-2.5pts)
        • Thumbnail: Just game title. It can be improved: add the characters, animate it, etc.
        • Metadata: Important info absent. (Engine Used, Session Duration, Languages, etc)
      • Major (-5pts)
        • Description: Story synopsis absent, lost the opportunity to grab new readers.
        • Screenshots: Absent. Unable to judge before download.
      • Severe (-10pts)
        • N/A


  • 『Personal Opinion』 - 10/10

    Is fun/cute/interesting/scary/etc? Did I like it? (subjective)

    Loved every single bit of it.
    The game is a roller coaster of emotions, it just can’t be categorized in a genre, it goes from romantic to scary, from funny to philosophical, this VN has everything on it. Most of the time this goes wrong, but tandrewine (mango?) did well and that’s impressive.



(+1)

(2/2)



SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE


Walkthrough & Summary

purpose: provide insight about what people understood from the VN, and how people play the VN.

Walkthrough
You will need to play the vn at least 8 times, there is no other way around it.

  • The Routes: Stick with only one character at a time and you will get all of them.
  • Bad Ending: Play like a complete asocial, do not befriend anyone. (easter egg here)
  • True Ending: You need all the other endings first, then, just start the game again (DO NOT RELOAD FROM A SAVE).

My experience: In my first run I had a semi-bad ending; I tried to get to know everybody, and consequently I couldn’t be friends with anybody. I was very confused when the game closed on me hehe. (I still don’t understand why Lilith would kill the MC. O_o)

I tried one or two more times, eventually I understood that I had to stick with only one character at a time. From there, everything was on track.

Summary
WARNING: THIS STORY IS IN PROGRESS.
(*): This fact is not confirmed.

PLACES:

  • Miria: The main planet where Mirians live. The Mirians are composed by diverse species like gnomes, kokri (anthro reptiles), highlanders (anthro mammalians), elfs, among others.
  • Aether: Satellite of Miria, the shining citadel, kind of a heaven.
  • Camille’s Mansion: The house that Camille created for herself and her companions in the Aether.
  • Leviathan: Satellite of Miria, the bestial dark planet, kind of a hell. Is composed of all the Mirians that gave their soul to Lilith.
  • Falador: The capital of the gnomes, the meca of techmaturgy.
  • Yggdrasil: The giant tree that grew from the tomb of Camille.

KEY EVENTS

  • The Crucifixion: The Mirians killed the incarnation of Camille on Miria, she resurrected.
  • The Rapture: An apocalypses-like event that erased almost all the live from Miria, it came from Camille.
  • The Fall of Sol: For reasons yet unknown, the lover of Camille died an incarnated on Miria.

CHARACTERS:

  • Mother: The Goddess of Life, incarnated in Camille and Lilith.
  • Camille: The Goddess of Time. Sister of Lilith. Protector of the Aether. Alcoholic and depressed. Tries to erase all the life from Miria because is imperfect.
  • Lilith: The Goddess of Space and Flies. Sister or Camille. Governor of the Leviathan. Charismatic, quirky and comforting, but also very mysterious and philosophical. Tries to save the life of Miria.
  • Sol: The lover of Camille, the first Aetherborn. He became “The Devil”.
  • The Maid: Creation of Camille. She had a body made of porcelain. Escaped.
  • Butler: The reincarnation of IX*, Lilith’s chosen one and her spy*, was a servant of Camille. Escaped.
  • Olivia: The reincarnation of LVII, a city girl that works at Burger King.
  • IX (nine): alias “Pretty Boy”, a kokri slave, kind and lover of LVII.
  • LVII (fifty seven): First a kokri slave, later a nun. Strong believer of Camille. Raped and her child was taken away from her. Dead.
  • CIV (one hundred four): A kokri slave, friends with IX and LVII, rebel and deeply tortured. Never gave up the hope to escape. Dead.
  • Niri: A highlander (bird) that rescued IX, wife of Lapom.
  • Lapom: An elf that rescued IX.
  • Godsmack Korn: First a rogue soldier of the gnome army, later one of the most important inventors of Falador. Banished for using magic. Survivor of The Rapture.
  • Sophie: First a half-kokri slave, and then a witch. LVII’s daughter* and Godsmack Korn wife. Survivor of The Rapture.
  • Sona: Godsmack Korn and Sophie’s daughter, born deformed and transformed into a robot to save her life. Survivor of The Rapture.
  • Kai: A highlander (goat) and champion of the coliseum. Lover of Lui. Ultra Fighter’s strongest warrior*. Survivor of The Rapture.
  • Lui: A highlander (mouse) that died in The Rapture.
  • Puck: A highlander (bear), monk and missionary of the monastery of Camille. Survivor of The Rapture.
  • MC/Nobody/Hero: The reincarnation of Sol*. Appearance of an Aetherborn. Has amnesia and frequent visions of his past life with Camille.

STORY (CHRONOLOGICAL)

At the beginning there was only Mother, and Mother wished for a vessel to experience the universe.

Mother created Camille and Lilith and gave them just one commandment: “Love thy Neighbor”. Then, Mother became one with them.

(UNKOWN DATA): Who created Miria, Aether and Leviathan, and when they were created.

Camille is idealistic and believes that the creation must be pure and perfect, on the other hand, Lilith embraced the darkest parts of the creation, she believes in free will but will not waste the opportunity to trick someone and capture their soul.

But Camille couldn’t stand the ways of the mortals; when she saw their lives full of violence and hatred, it saddened her deeply.

(ASSUMPTION): Camille went to Miria as a mortal and tried to spread the words that Mother gave to her: “Love thy Neighbor”, she also said that those who believe in her cause and are righteous will live forever in the Aether with her, a place were suffering would not exist. But some Mirians didn’t want to hear their commandments, some Mirians wanted freedom.

Camille was captured and crucified, Lilith also abandoned her, and Camille died alone. Both sisters never talked to each other since.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Lilith abandoned Camille.

Camille was buried and her tomb became the seed of the Yggdrasil, the giant tree of Miria.

Camille resurrected back on the Aether, and waited to welcome her believers.
Camille was very lonely because her sister was no longer with her, but soon enough, Sol appeared. Shortly after, the porcelain Maid was created too.

(UNKOWN DATA): The past life of the Sol.
(UNKOWN DATA): The past life of the Maid, if any.

The three lived happily in Aether, trying to fulfill all the free time. Years passed, and the long before void Aether became a Metropolis.

However, through all this time the prays of all the Mirians that had faith in Camilla were wearing out her patience.

(ASSUMPTION): Camille said that she only have the tools to help Mirians in the Aether, but Lilith is all powerful both on Leviathan and Miria, so is pretty unlikely that her sister is limited, otherwise The Rapture would not have been possible. Therefore, this means that she has decided to not interfere with the free will of the Mirians, because that would break the meaning of the promise of eternal life in Aether.

Sol tried to help Camille calm down with the ways of his father in his past life, alcohol.
Camille has the responsibility to keep the Aether pure and remove every corrupted soul, but she became alcoholic, irresponsible, irritable, useless, and in her own words: “a waste of space”.

(UNKOWN DATA): The incident with The Porcelain Maid.

Then, something happened to the porcelain Maid, something so bad that the Maid’s head was left broken wide open. Camille asked her to leave, but she didn’t want to leave, so Camille let her stay in the attic, and told Sol that she just leaved without saying goodbye.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Sol loved the Maid.

The lost of the Maid hurt Sol a lot, and seeing Camille broken, alcoholic, and replacing the Maid with another servant like if she was nothing, didn’t help at all.

Even with alcohol, there was one particular pray that was so ugly and frequent that nothing could drown her voice, it almost brought Camille to borderline psychosis: the pray of LVII.

LVII was slaved by the gnomes, she was frequently abused and raped.
There were other kokris with her, IX and CIV, and also the young Godsmack Korn, a gnome that was helping the kokris because he couldn’t tolerate the torture they have been suffering.

These slaves were captured and transferred in the middle of a deadly cold blizzard, there IX and CIV discovered that LVII was pregnant; IX wasn’t the father, it was clear that the child was from one of the gnome soldiers, but CIV thought that this was a virgin birth, a gift from the goddess.

Still, LVII was so weak that she couldn’t make it through the blizzard. Instructions were clear: kill every slave that can’t walk. IX tried to carry her but he was also tired, his toe were cut and soon LVII would also be left behind to bleed to death, CIV had no other choice but to fight for the “miracle” of this baby.

Gnomes were killed, CIV didn’t survive, and IX beg for salvation… and only Lilith answered, his soul was captured, becoming Lilith chosen one. After some time he was back on his body and forgot everything from his previous life. Niri, Lapom and their daughter rescued him.

(UNKOWN DATA): What happened with IX after the rescue, and how he became Butler.

(ASSUMPTION): Lilith was aware of the state of Camille and the Maid, at some point she took the opportunity to insert a spy in Camille’s Mansion, converting IX into Butler, Camille’s new servant.

Back to LVII, she was rescued by Godsmack and they both managed to reach a checkpoint. LVII gave birth to her child there, but the gnomes forced Godsmack to snatch LVII’s child from her arms. LVII was devastated.

A few days later, the gnomes and kokris reached their destiny: Falador.
Probably due to the teachings of Camille, there was a growing discontent about the slaves among the gnomes, and the incident with LVII was so big that the army couldn’t take the risk.

A Colonel managed to get LVII a position as a nun in a Camille’s Monastery. Meanwhile, Godsmack was forcefully transferred to a job in the laboratories of Falador.

Years later, Godsmack bought LVII’s daughter, Sophie. But he didn’t gave it back to her mother, actually, he instructed everyone to never ever tell her about this.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Godsmack did that to LVII.

Sophia became Godsmack’s disciple, they both were really good at their job in “techmaturgy” and the pinnacle of their work was the airship. Still, the world was becoming more hostile and more weapons were needed, Godsmack and Sophie couldn’t keep up, and they cheated: Sophie started to use magic in their inventions.

Later, Sophie became Godsmack’s wife, and they tried to have a child. Sophie brought a daughter to life and they called it Sona, but her mother wasn’t pure blood and thus Sona was born extremely deformed, she could die. With the help of magic, they made Sona into an robot.

Magic is a taboo and is prohibited by the gnomes, because magic comes from Camille, and gnomes reject everything from Camille. Godsmack was the one that was discovered using this magic, and he was banished from Faldor, and without him, salvation was lost.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why gnomes reject magic.

Lilith saw the opportunity to steal Godsmack soul and offered him a deal: his soul in exchange of protection from Camille. Godsmack rejected Lilith’s offer.

Through all this time, LVII pried like a maniac in the Monastery, she had faith more than any other, but she never saw her child again. When a new Colonel arrived in the army, he told her that her child was death. All these years, all those prays, for nothing.

Hate, resentment and the outcry for divine justice was everything that was left in LVII, she got back to the monastery, broke one of her fingers, and made a prayer that Camille could not ignore: KILL THEM ALL.

Camille saw enough, a fresh start was needed, then The Rapture happened.

Godsmack survived. Sona and Sophie survived inside Godsmack’s State. Puck survived. Kai survived but lost Lui. So far, they are the only survivors known to this day.

LVII died on this apocalypses and resurrected in the Aether, Camille went to see her personally and gave her a vessel and a new name: “Olivia”.

(ASSUMPTION): At some point in the middle of the rapture, Sol became “The Devil”. Is implied that Sol did something really bad, and for that, Camille was obligated to kill him to kept the Aether pure, but she couldn’t do it. Instead, she took Sol soul and reincarnated him back into Miria.

PRESENT

Sol reincarnated into Hero and woke up in the middle of the forest, on a strange chunk of earth. He was rescued by a now old Godsmack Korn, he gave him clothes and all the information he needed to live in the post-apocalyptic Miria, finally, he sent him to the Ruins of Falador. There our Hero knew “The Ultra Fighters”.

Lilith is aware that the Hero is on Miria, she knows who he was, and why he’s there. She tried to join him for her cause, but the Hero rejected her. Still, Lilith is far from giving up.

Meanwhile in the Aether, Camille is watching Hero trough the TV.
Butler said to her that her hat was lost, that triggered her bad mood and divine fury. Butler run but Camille found him in her room.

Camille attacked him, pocking out one of his eyes. After that brief moment of wrath, Camille realized what she did and felt deep remorse, but the damage was done.

Butler talked to Olivia and she took him out of the Mansion. They have been together after that, once lovers in their previous life, IX and LVII found love once again in Heaven.

Camille realized that Butler was gone, and she can’t hates being alone.
She went back to the attic to talk to the Porcelain Maid, she has been there waiting for CENTURIES!.

Camille took the Maid out and cleaned her, she tried to fix everything and be friends again with her, it looked like it was working!, but the porcelain Maid was only pretending.

The Maid took the first opportunity that she could find to gain her freedom and escape from the Mansion, from Aether, from existence.

Camille now is truly alone, and more broken than ever before.
Shortly after, in an emotional outburst, she killed every corrupt soul in the Aether in the blink of an eye, every single one that she didn’t kill through all these years of alcoholism. Thousands are death.

Camille takes a stance, she will prove that her mother and Lilith are wrong, that the creation can be pure and perfect, she will grow purity from their meat and bones by force if necessary.

(Will continue…)





Analysis

on what I interpreted, learnt, and thought after playing this VN. (highly subjective)
purpose: improve story clarity and reduce risk of misinterpretation.

I don’t feel like this section is needed, you just can’t misinterpret this work, the story is crystal-clear.
If you know a thing or two about the religions of the world, then you can’t miss the references.
Tandrewine/mango goes hard on the subject he criticizes and parody, being a sensible topic, I’m actually impressed that there is no trigger warning.





Comments

anything goes.

This story is in fact, a web comic. I understand that in a web comic, sometimes the reader can influence the curse of the story, a lot of improvisation is needed. I must say, the story that you have here is pretty consistent despite playing on hard mode! Congratulations for that.



Hope this helps! ❤️

this is the most thorough and thoughtful response that i've ever gotten on... anything.

i can hardly put into words how much i appreciate your dedication. overjoyed, to say the least!

(+1)

What a beautiful comment. The world needs more people like you.

(+1)

So far an amazing experience, I can't wait to finish it.
I sort of went into this VN blind without knowing the context, and I'm sort of grateful for my stupidity, because it was very endearing getting to know these characters from a continued point in time...though now that I've caught my fault I'm gonna have to read the webcomic now.

While I don't normally rate games I haven't finished yet, this game has already shown me its confidence, and for that it gets a chocolate star medal and a 5.5/5!

Real good work Tandre...Mango? Wine?

Best of luck, and cheers!

(+1)

i really appreciate your consideration!!

being an indie writer, i hope you know that its outspoken people like you who motivate me to continue to create.